As we head into the season of thankfulness, it’s easy to feel torn. Black Friday deals are calling our names, social media is filled with highlight reels, and the pressure to “keep up” with others is everywhere. Instead of feeling joyful, this time of year can often lead to something more subtle but deeply damaging: envy.

Envy is sneaky. It starts as a passing thought—“Wow, her decorations are so much better than mine,” or, “They’re taking another vacation?”—but if left unchecked, it grows. Suddenly, you’re not just noticing what others have; you’re resenting them for it. And here’s the real cost of envy: it robs you of joy, contentment, and gratitude.

The Comparison Trap

Envy thrives on comparison. In a world where we’re constantly bombarded with curated images of other people’s lives, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short. Whether it’s someone’s perfect holiday spread, a bigger house, or their ability to afford things you can’t, the message is the same: “You don’t have enough. You aren’t enough.”

But here’s the truth: comparison is a thief. It takes the good things in your life and reframes them as “not good enough.” And while you’re busy longing for what others have, you’re missing the blessings right in front of you.

Proverbs 14:30 puts it plainly: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” When we allow envy to take root, it disrupts our peace and poisons our perspective.

The Power of Kindness

Thankfully, there’s an antidote to envy: kindness. Kindness shifts the focus from “What don’t I have?” to “What can I give?” It fosters generosity and genuine appreciation for others’ blessings, breaking the cycle of comparison and bitterness.

Think of Jesus. He didn’t focus on what He lacked or compete for earthly status. Instead, He showed radical kindness, serving others and rejoicing in their joy. When we choose kindness, we’re not just helping others—we’re freeing ourselves from the weight of envy.

How to Reframe Envy With Kindness

1. Practice Gratitude Daily: Gratitude is the enemy of envy. Each day, take time to thank God for the specific blessings in your life, big or small. Writing them down can help shift your perspective from lack to abundance.
2. Celebrate Others’ Successes: When someone else gets a promotion, buys a new home, or shares a happy moment, resist the urge to compare. Instead, genuinely celebrate with them. Romans 12:15 reminds us, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
3. Give Generously: Whether it’s your time, encouragement, or resources, giving is a powerful way to combat envy. Acts of kindness, no matter how small, can help refocus your heart on what truly matters.
4. Limit the Comparison Triggers: If social media or certain conversations spark envy, take a step back. Curate your environment to foster joy and gratitude, not competition.
5. Reflect on Christ’s Example: Jesus consistently chose kindness, even when others didn’t deserve it. In John 13:14-15, He washed His disciples’ feet—a humbling act of love and service. Following His lead, we can approach others with a heart of kindness, no matter our circumstances.

Finding Joy in Gratitude and Kindness

As the holiday season ramps up, let’s resist the pull of envy and the comparison trap. Instead, let’s embrace gratitude and practice kindness. When we focus on what we can give rather than what we lack, we’re stepping into the joy and peace God desires for us.

So this Black Friday, instead of asking, “What’s the best deal I can get?” consider asking, “How can I show kindness to someone else?” Whether it’s paying for someone’s coffee, offering a kind word, or simply rejoicing in someone else’s blessings, let’s reflect the heart of Christ. In doing so, we’ll find that the season of thankfulness becomes more than a moment—it becomes a way of life.