Have you ever noticed how minor irritations can snowball into significant conflicts? The doorbell rings unexpectedly, interrupting your focus. Instead of greeting the visitor with warmth, irritation bubbles up as if your personal space has been invaded. Or perhaps it’s your tone of voice—sarcastic, sharp, and easily misunderstood—that sparks unintended tension.

It’s a subtle shift, but over time, these moments of unchecked frustration can harden our hearts, allowing resentment to take root. Our words, once sweet and kind, become laced with sarcasm or bitterness, and snapping in heated conversations about politics, finances, or even family dynamics feels almost automatic.

But have you ever paused mid-conflict, taken a deep breath, and asked, What’s it like to be on the other side of me right now?

It’s a hard question, but as Nicki Koziarz suggests, it’s a powerful one. It challenges us to step outside our own frustrations and see through the eyes of the person we’re engaging with. This shift in perspective—choosing to pause, pray, and recalibrate—invites God to transform our hearts and actions to reflect Christ’s love.

The Danger of Unchecked Frustration
As Christians, we’re called to live as ambassadors of Jesus, letting our words and actions testify to His grace. But let’s be honest—there are moments when this feels nearly impossible. A harsh comment, a thoughtless interruption, or the weight of our own exhaustion can trigger reactions far from Christ-like.

These small reactions may seem inconsequential, but over time, they erode relationships and foster resentment. They turn us inward, making our frustrations and priorities the center of our universe, rather than the love and humility we’re called to embody.

So how do we change? How do we let go of irritation and model Christ, even when the world pushes every button we have?

1. Start with Humility
Philippians 2:3 reminds us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Humility isn’t about devaluing ourselves; it’s about elevating others. Asking What’s it like to be on the other side of me? requires setting aside pride and embracing the other person’s perspective.

This humility allows us to see the struggles, fears, and frustrations of others and opens our hearts to the Holy Spirit’s work.

2. Practice the Pause
James 1:19 tells us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Taking a moment to pause before reacting can be a game changer.

Before responding in frustration, pause and breathe. Use that moment to pray: Lord, help me respond in a way that reflects You.

This pause not only prevents regretful words but also gives space for God’s wisdom to guide our response. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

3. Pray for Perspective
In moments of conflict, it’s easy to focus on how we’ve been wronged. But Jesus calls us to pray for those who hurt us and seek reconciliation.

When we pray for perspective, we invite God to reveal what might lie beneath the surface—hidden pain, frustration, or insecurity. This doesn’t excuse hurtful behavior but allows us to respond with compassion instead of judgment.

4. Be Intentional with Your Words
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Words have immense power to heal or hurt. Before speaking, ask yourself: Will this build up or tear down? Will it reflect Christ’s love or my own frustration?

Even in the face of conflict, Jesus exemplified grace. On the cross, enduring unimaginable pain, His words were, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

5. Let God’s Grace Transform You
Transformation isn’t about trying harder—it’s about surrendering more. As we abide in Him, His Spirit produces love, patience, kindness, and self-control in us (Galatians 5:22-23).

When frustration strikes, ask, What’s it like to be on the other side of me right now? Then pause, pray, and let the Holy Spirit guide you.

Let’s Talk:
Have you ever noticed how small frustrations can build over time? How do you handle moments of irritation or conflict? What has helped you model Christ in your words and actions?

I’d love to hear your thoughts—share them in the comments so we can encourage one another on this journey of grace and transformation.