In today’s culture, we are constantly encouraged to “be our most authentic selves.” On the surface, this sounds empowering. Who wouldn’t want to live life true to who they are? However, the issue arises when being your “authentic self” becomes an excuse to reject God’s design and nature. We see it happening all around us: men and women abandoning their God-given roles, chasing worldly definitions of fulfillment that leave them more lost and confused than ever.

We live in a society that no longer values God’s creation or His divine purpose for men and women. Instead, it’s filled with messages that tear down the very roles we were designed to live in. Men are being emasculated, giving up their God-ordained responsibility as the spiritual leaders of their homes. At the same time, women are told that true empowerment lies in becoming more like men, as if femininity is something to be abandoned, not cherished. But when we step outside of God’s design, we disrupt the balance He created between men and women—two equally valuable, yet complementary roles.

Men Abandoning Spiritual Leadership

One of the most obvious signs of this societal shift is the way men have stepped away from their biblical role as spiritual leaders. Whether through cultural pressure or personal choice, men are often no longer leading their families in faith. Husbands are meant to be the head of the household, not in a domineering way, but as Christ is the head of the church—loving, guiding, protecting, and sacrificing.

Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” This is not a call for power but for service and leadership under God’s authority. When men neglect this role, families lose a vital source of strength and spiritual guidance.

Instead of taking up the mantle of spiritual leadership, many men have either withdrawn entirely or adopted a passive stance, allowing culture to dictate what leadership looks like. The absence of strong, godly men has left many families without the spiritual direction they so desperately need.

The Feminist Indoctrination of Women

On the other side, women have been indoctrinated into believing that femininity is something that limits them, that to be valuable, they must act, work, and live like men. Modern feminism often pushes the idea that women should be able to do everything men can—whether it’s climbing the corporate ladder or refusing to take on traditional roles like motherhood or homemaking—because anything less is seen as oppressive or regressive.

But the Bible paints a different picture of what true femininity looks like. God created men and women with distinct roles that complement each other. Just because these roles are different doesn’t mean they are unequal. In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” A helper is not a lesser role, but a vital one. The Proverbs 31 woman is a beautiful example of this, demonstrating strength, wisdom, and diligence in managing her household while also being deeply respected by her family.

In rejecting these God-ordained roles, women have been led to believe that they can’t possibly be fulfilled by anything other than what the world offers: careers, power, and independence at all costs. But true fulfillment comes when we embrace the role God created for us, not when we try to live up to society’s fleeting standards of success.

A Godly Blueprint: Debi Pearl’s Created to Be His Help Meet

One of the most impactful books on this subject is Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. This book is unlike any other I’ve read on womanhood or marriage. Debi Pearl takes every scripture about marriage and being a wife—from Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 to Genesis, Peter, and Colossians—and offers biblical wisdom for living out our God-given roles. She confronts the cultural lie that submission is weakness and explains how respecting and supporting your husband allows him to flourish as the leader God designed him to be.

Debi answers those nagging questions about submission: When do you not submit? How can you be a helpmeet without losing your own identity? Through her teaching, you’ll see that biblical submission is not about becoming a doormat—it’s about allowing God’s order to bless your marriage, your family, and your life.

Debi also emphasizes the importance of letting the fruit of the Spirit fill and flow out of you. Galatians 5:22–23 reminds us that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are the characteristics that should define us. These traits aren’t just for wives, but for all Christians, as we seek to reflect God’s nature in every part of our lives. Yet for women, embracing these qualities within the role God has designed leads to deeper fulfillment than any worldly pursuit ever could.

The Dangers of Self-Worship

A major shift in today’s culture is the rise of self-worship. From the New Age movement to self-help philosophies, we are constantly told to “manifest” our own destiny, be our own god, and follow our own path. Figures like Oprah Winfrey have popularized the idea that “you are your own god,” promoting the belief that everything we need is within us.

But this idea contradicts the foundation of faith. Without God, morality is subjective, and every person’s “truth” becomes their own. This leads to chaos because, without a higher standard, there is no real right or wrong. God is the author of creation, and only through His laws can we find true fulfillment and purpose.

When we reject God’s authority and instead rely on ourselves, we fall into the trap of thinking we don’t need Him. But without God, we lose the foundation of morality, family, and identity. Colossians 1:16–17 tells us, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth…all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” God holds creation together; without Him, everything falls into chaos.

Embracing God’s Design

The beauty of God’s creation lies in its order and purpose. Men and women were created to work together, each playing a role that, when fulfilled, brings harmony and strength to families and society. When men embrace their spiritual leadership and women embrace their supportive, nurturing roles, both experience the fullness of God’s blessing.

It’s not about suppressing one gender for the benefit of another; it’s about recognizing that we are different by design, and that difference is part of God’s plan. In God’s eyes, men and women are equally valuable, but He has given us roles that, when lived out according to His will, bring about the greatest good for everyone.

In a world that devalues creation and confuses gender roles, the most powerful thing we can do is return to God’s standards. We can push back against the cultural lies by embracing the truth of who we were created to be—men and women, equal in value but distinct in our roles, living out God’s purpose for His glory.